Seriously: today hit me like a brick. I am so tired, I can hardly even stand it. I know it will pass by tomorrow, but it isn’t entirely from Whole30 – it’s just been a long, emotionally-taxing week.
I found out an old (not in age) friend passed a couple days ago, and it’s a real bummer. I don’t know anything more than that he’s gone, but my heart really goes out to his family and my old circle.
When people from such remote periods of my life die, it always feels like that part of me dies, too. It’s not as if he and I were super close friends: I don’t know if we ever even spoke on the phone, but I know he had my back from time-to-time, and I had his. So that’s a big drag.
The good news from it is that it does help me reconnect to people I love from my past – the few who are still around, albeit 3200 miles and a lifetime away. It can feel lonely when friends die.
Beside this (or maybe partly because of it), my whole day was a little off. I was unbelievably tired, some of which I know is relative to days 5-6 on Whole30, but undoubtedly some of it is related to all the worries one has about others.
I was so tired today that on my way home, I started to doubt myself that I put some very important files away. About halfway through my commute, I exited the freeway, turned around, went back to work only to find that I actually HAD put everything away. Then I was just so mad at myself for doubting. This crankiness is the worst of me, and I look forward to returning to my normal, inwardly-cranky, outwardly-jovial self.
Plus I was super thirsty. I left my water bottle at tap dance class on Wednesday, and I won’t be back into that part of town until next week, and oh-my-gawd-I-can’t-use-a-different-drinking-vessel. So I go dry.
Dinner was good, though. We had almost nothing on-hand because last week was light shopping; besides, nothing even sounds good right now. We used up the last of the cauliflower “rice” and mashed it with some cold, cooked potato, then baked them into tots. That was pretty great.
The meal was a bit mish-mash, but it worked. Sweet Potato “toast” cooked in the waffle-iron, then topped with avocado & pico de gallo.
I suppose I should note that I totally understand that I’m not “supposed” to “count” calories during Whole30, but I don’t care. This is my learning stage. If I don’t count, I may not realize the calorie loads I could potentially take in, and therefore ruin all my work. One day I won’t need to do it, but for now I do, and I’m not playing a guilt-game about it. It just is what it is.
I also understand the importance of listening to the body instead of just relying on numbers which are only generalized anyway. So I’m using both tools for now.
Despite my intention to be a complete sourpuss about everything, this was pretty good. We saved half the sweet potato for tomorrow’s breakfast, which we’ll eat with more avocado and the last of the Pico De Gallo. For now, tho, this “kehd” is ready for bed.